Relationship Success Workshop

Relationship Success Workshop

Relationships come in all forms: life partners, friends, family, teachers, work colleagues, community and with ourselves. They play an important role in our overall happiness, wellbeing and fulfillment in life. Studies show that strong and lasting relationships help to contribute to long and healthy lives. Is there a relationship in your life that you struggle with and would like to improve? Are you wanting to create a relationship in your life now or in the future? This one day workshop will empower you with knowledge, skills and understanding of relationships: what makes them work, what makes the break down, how to strengthen & protect them and allow them to grow. Through exercises, information, discussion and guided imagery, you will learn how to reduce conflict, make small changes that can strengthen the quality of your relationships, understand the essentials of a strong relationships, learn skills for communicating difficult issues without hurting someone, and find out the key factors in what makes a relationship last or breakdown. Based on 40 years of research from Psychologist John Gottman’s Institute in Seattle, and drawing on the Human Givens approach to Psychotherapy, this workshop is suitable for beginners and experts alike, whether you are single or in a relationship, this workshop will empower you to create and maintain healthy and nurturing relationships, personally and professionally. For more details and to book a place please click the link below: http://www.chrysalis.ie/event-registration/?ee=106  ...
5 steps to repair a damaged relationship

5 steps to repair a damaged relationship

People in painful relationships sometimes remind me of old-fashioned foot soldiers – both people are hiding in fear of attack behind a big shield with their daggers drawn. This is no way to build a close & loving relationship! Joking aside, you need to create a place of safety if you want to repair the damage & make it work. But how do you do that ? There is certainly no quick fix when trust in a relationship has broken down to this extent: you are usually talking about a marathon or a long haul trip, certainly not a sprint. These are some of the most important steps. They may seem like little things but they are not easy & over time, the best research in this area shows, they can make all the difference. 1) Apologise fully for any wrong doing but don’t expect that to be the last of it. If you’ve let your partner down badly in some way, they have every right to be angry & the trust is not going to be repaired easily. 2) Actions speak louder than words-listen to your partners complaints & act on them- but remember that repairing trust is a long haul operation- & be prepared to keep it up under fire! 3) Start noticing & acknowledging what your partner is doing right ( in relationships that are in difficulty we tend to focus only on what our partner is doing wrong – reminding ourselves of what they are doing right can help us to get a better perspective). 4) Give your partner more attention. Attention is the currency of love! We...
How to raise difficult issues

How to raise difficult issues

All relationships-even the good ones -have some degree of conflict. It is important during conflicts to stick to recent specific complaints-& not throw in anything & everything including the kitchen sink (tempting as that is)! At their heart most conflicts are my need versus your need ( & the most intractable ones are my deepest values & dreams versus your deepest values & dreams). This is a simple & effective way  to bring up difficult issues: 1) Choose your time carefully- ideally when you are both relaxed & getting on 2) Most of what we communicate is not through our words but through our tone & body language- so make sure that you are in the right frame of mind  by reminding yourself before you start of all the things you like about your partner-& the things that they do right! 3) Start with”I” + emotion, for instance, ” I am upset”, “I am hurt” , ” I am scared”. 4) Now name your complaint & make it SPECIFIC, for instance, ” that the kitchen was a mess this morning”, ” that you spent so much on those shoes” ” when I look at our bank balance”. 5) Ask for what you need ( optional) for instance, ” we need to find ways of spending less money”. Research shows that the beginning of a conversation predicts how it will end. In the best relationships people are gentle with each other. Some people, however gently you start a difficult discussion, have had so many experiences of feeling attacked & criticised that they will get defensive no matter how you begin....