How to build a close & lasting relationship

How to build a close & lasting relationship

Some years ago, a couple I was friendly with, split up in acrimonious circumstances. They both came to me separately & each told me their side of the story. To my surprise, as I listened to the second account, I slowly realised that their complaints about each other were almost identical! The husband’s main complaint about his wife was that she spent all her spare time on the computer & would not look up from it to talk to him. His wife’s main complaint about him was that he spent all his spare time watching television & would not look up from it, even to say “Hi” & ask how she was after her day at work.   This is a traditional rhyme that reminds me of possibly the most important truth about relationships: For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the battle was lost. For want of a battle the kingdom was lost. And all for the want of a horseshoe nail. That truth is this: that little daily things matter & some of those little things are crucial to the extent of being all important. Probably the most important of those “little things” is giving our partner the gift of our full attention. We under-estimate the importance of this at at our peril! The best research in this area has shown that it is the little things in a relationship that mount up over time & either destroy it – by undermining...

The most common myth about relationships

The most common myth about relationships is that good communication is the key to better relationships. Now don’t get me wrong, good communication is important, but good communication is actually a sign of more fundamental things being right whereas poor communication is actually a symptom of more fundamental things going wrong. In a relationship that is working, the communication is good because both people feel supported, cared for & loved. When a relationship is working it is easy to communicate well – as we all know, if we think back to when we first met, when communication seemed so easy! In the early days of a relationship, when both people have positive expectations & experiences of the relationship, most couples can communicate well. That creates a positive spiral effect were people are relaxed & happy talking to each other because they are confident that their partner will listen & engage with them positively about the things that are on their mind & that are important to them. This happens naturally at the beginning of relationships because people usually feel supported & appreciated,at that time, by the other person. In long-term relationships that work well, that continues to be the pattern & there continues to be a positive spiral of positivity with both people feeling supported and cared for & seeing & appreciating the good in each other. So when there is conflict, as there always is, at some level in relationships, it quickly fizzles out. It is as if, even in the midst of an argument, each partner, in the back of their mind has a little voice saying -hey-let’s...

Radio interview “How to improve your relationship”

http://www.annmarietaylor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Relationships-radio-interview_2_1_2_1_1.mp3 This interview is of Ann Marie Taylor by Derry O’Malley for Limerick Community Radio. It wasbroadcast on 6th February 2015 on their regular Sunday “Headspace” programme.  ...
Relationship Success Workshop

Relationship Success Workshop

Relationships come in all forms: life partners, friends, family, teachers, work colleagues, community and with ourselves. They play an important role in our overall happiness, wellbeing and fulfillment in life. Studies show that strong and lasting relationships help to contribute to long and healthy lives. Is there a relationship in your life that you struggle with and would like to improve? Are you wanting to create a relationship in your life now or in the future? This one day workshop will empower you with knowledge, skills and understanding of relationships: what makes them work, what makes the break down, how to strengthen & protect them and allow them to grow. Through exercises, information, discussion and guided imagery, you will learn how to reduce conflict, make small changes that can strengthen the quality of your relationships, understand the essentials of a strong relationships, learn skills for communicating difficult issues without hurting someone, and find out the key factors in what makes a relationship last or breakdown. Based on 40 years of research from Psychologist John Gottman’s Institute in Seattle, and drawing on the Human Givens approach to Psychotherapy, this workshop is suitable for beginners and experts alike, whether you are single or in a relationship, this workshop will empower you to create and maintain healthy and nurturing relationships, personally and professionally. For more details and to book a place please click the link below: http://www.chrysalis.ie/event-registration/?ee=106  ...